The student athlete tells Mom and Dad that the coach is yelling at him or her. Many parents will automatically call the coach for a talk.
But is that the best approach? The answer depends on the age of the athlete.
The emotionally charged atmosphere of sports can admittedly cause serious problems among coaches, athletes and parents," says John Heil, D.A., a sports psychologist at the Lewis Gale Clinic in Virginia.
It may not be fair to focus on a single incident of troublesome coaching behavior, according to Heil. However, when harsh words between coach and athlete emerge as a pattern, there is potential for permanent damage to the latter.
Parental responses to questionable coaching are different for elementary and middle school athletes than for high school athletes, Heil told the newsletter.
"With elementary and middle school athletes, I would not simply go by my child's interpretation of events," cautions Julian Morrow, Ph.D., a sports psychologist expert at Iona University in New York. "Parents should observe the coach's behavior personally. If action is needed, the issue should be addressed with the coach privately and in a non-threatening manner. If the parents are still convinced that the coach's actions are inappropriate and not going to change, they should consider talking to a supervisor."
Heil and Morrow agree that high school athletes should deal directly with their coaches, but parents should give them directions regarding the time, place and nature of the discussion. Adolescents do not necessarily have the social skills to deal with coaches on sensitive issues, they note.
"In seeking to resolve the problem, high school athletes should not question the authority or leadership of the coach," Heil and Morrow told the newsletter. "They should be instructed to keep the discussion positive. A good way to begin the conversation would be: "Coach, I'm not sure what you are trying to get across. Can you tell me exactly what I should be doing?"